It Could Have Been Either One of Us

A few days ago, my husband and I went to get a bite to eat before we picked up Noah from daycare. While devouring my grilled shrimp caesar salad, garlic bread and a coke with light ice (don’t judge me, lol), Jahkimmo reached over, hugged me and said I have to tell you something. My stomach began to quiver, and I became annoyed because he knows I don’t like playing these games. I responded, “What, tell me.” He shared that while I was away, Noah almost fell off the bed. She was still asleep when he went downstairs to make her bottle but when he returned upstairs, Noah was at the edge of the bed, reaching for something in the chair. He yelled,” Noah!” She looked at him and laughed. In that moment he ran, grabbed her tight in his arms, and began to thank God that she was safe.

My initial response to my husband was, “You don’t listen. I told you before not to leave Noah on the bed, but you know don’t listen. Every time I tell you not to leave her on the bed you respond, “ I know, I got this, leave me alone, and now look.” To think that she could have been hurt because he refused to listen to what I had to say, and disregard Noah’s pediatrician telling us a few weeks ago that since Noah is active and we can no longer leave her on the bed made me even more perturbed.  He asked for my forgiveness. I responded grudgingly, “Yeah, just don’t let it happen again.” The more my husband recalled the events to this story, all I could do was say, “Thank you Lord for protecting Noah”. Jahkimmo was remorseful. I felt for him. I put myself in his shoes. As a parent, his heart was probably experiencing the same kind of emotions mine was.

Later on that evening, the Lord spoke to me as I processed this situation. God showed me that this situation could’ve happen with either one of us. In this moment, compassion and humilty grew even more in my heart because we all mess up. None of us are exempt from making mistakes. Who am I to be walking around upset and holding this over my husband’s head, when I don’t listen to everything he tells me.  As Tim Keller notes, “If you have trouble forgiving someone, it is at least partly because deep in your heart you are thinking, “I would never do anything like that!” As long as we feel superior to someone, feel like we are a much better kind of person, we will find it very hard if not impossible to forgive”.

So I said to Jahkimmo,“It’s ok. I am not upset anymore; and I really do forgive you. This situation could’ve happen with either one of us. This could’ve easily happened with me even though I am watching Noah sleep when I jump in the shower, she can easily wake up, or another time, when she was first born I fell asleep with her in my arms after breastfeeding and you came in the room and woke me up”. The list could really go on. I said, “Let’s agree to listen to one another and do what is best because Noah is our priority. It was through this experience today that I realized that we cannot be hard on one another, we are on this parenting journey together. This experience also reaffirms that we can rest in knowing that as a parent we will make mistakes but by the Grace and Mercy of God our mistakes will not impact Noah. She is covered by the blood of Jesus.